I'm going to play the serious career girl card for a moment. Today's topic is brought to you by an art director. I could safely say that I may be a better art/creative director then an actual designer for many reasons. Throughout my career as such, I have been asked from people in the business and some not so much if I have worked with [insert known photographer here]. My response is usually 'NO' and I have reason to back it up.
Simply put, I shoot for the underdog. I actively search for creatives like myself. Those who may have not had the dazzling success of some who have the funds to purchase the latest and greatest equipment or ability to get their name out there. I tend to challenge myself by hiring those who are devoted to the art of photography. Those who do it for the love of it. Who's photographic eye shines through even in their family snap shots. I can smell talent from a mile away and invite these "underdogs" to play my game. To step into my world and better my cause of presenting Lancaster with fresh creative material by showing me what they've got. I never stop challenging myself and I want to challenge them as well.
Most of being successful is pretending you already are. I'm not going to lie, in my current job, we make it up as we go...learning and adapting with every step. Although this way of work does not come easy for some, it does allow a certain amount of creative freedom that would be hard pressed to find at a stuffy 9-5. We fake it but "at the end of the day" we love what we do because we do what we want.
That is what drawls me to those starting out. They are not tarnished by the name they made for themselves. They look through the lens without fear and expectations from others. It's almost childlike if you stop and think about it. I was told during art school that children are nearly the only people who have the ability to make art freely without the fear of rejection and judgement. I think it may be what holds back those career photographers. They have something on the line. They shoot weddings not because they necessarily want to but because it pays the bills. The great thing about where I work is that you will never make a career out of it as our staff photographer. That may sound horrible but thinking about it, that's actually a blessing to me.
I would never hire someone looking for a paycheck. I want to hire someone who has that childlike innocence. Who picks up a camera because they love what they produce. Because these individuals expect nothing more than a photo credit in print to show their friends and gloat to their families, they do the absolute best job they can do. They are nervous, jittery, eager to please, and grateful for the opportunity I have given them and I love them for it.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
For Lack of Words
For Lack of Words...
I have been taking a lot of photos lately which I feel sums up things better than I can put into words right now. I suppose they're up for interpretation. Isn't that what photojournalism is all about?
I have been taking a lot of photos lately which I feel sums up things better than I can put into words right now. I suppose they're up for interpretation. Isn't that what photojournalism is all about?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll
I told a friend that the reason I haven't posted on this blog lately is because I'm happy and I typically only write in times of despair. Last night I had happy thoughts rushing through my head and decided that I was going to write these thoughts and break the habit of spewing misery for others to read. Well wouldn't you know it, today is not a good day. However, I am going to try and channel that eloquently composed post that I had mapped out in my head last night but didn't have a chance to write since it was so incredibly late and I was so incredibly tired.
Last night I went to see Dr. Dog in concert at the Electric Factory. I like the band. I am not a "super fan", meaning I can not rehearse every lyric of every song, nor did I purchase an overpriced hipster beanie from the show. I can say I do enjoy their music. Dr. Dog has two singers. One being the poppy vocalist who is tall and dorky with a nasally sound and catchy sing-a-long tunes; the other mildly attractive who's voice is like sex. Gritty when it needs to be and smooth in just the right moments.
Because I do not claim to be a hardcore Dr. Dog know-it-all, I have never taken the time to watch live performances or even really look up what the band members actually look like. From judging the voices, I know one is sex and the other is nasal. Seeing them on stage is a whole other experience. The energy of the show in and of itself is one thing but watching Toby Leaman (oh my God his name is really Toby? mmmmmmm) bass player/second lead singer boy essentially make love on stage...mmmmm. He puts the "sex" in rock n' roll.
Right then and there I determined two things:
1. The men I'm attracted to are those who have a butt load of passion. It doesn't matter what it is for. Hell it could be as an amazing cross stitcher for all I care, as long as they put every emotion and every last breath into that passion. As long as they make everyone around them have absolutely no doubt that they love what they are doing.
2. Rock stars shouldn't be allowed to wear wedding rings. Strippers don't wear wedding rings right? Since most women would rather ogle at a lead singer gyrating their hips and pressing their open mouth on a microphone than watch a buff man strip down to a thong, I whole heartedly feel that it is the duty of a guy in a band not to wear a wedding band. It crushes the fantasy. If we can't have you after the show, let us at least have our fantasy. Yes, even if our boyfriend is inches away.
Just to throw the drugs in there for title sake...there were more plumes of pot smoke up in that venue than a Dave Matthews concert. There were also the remains of nitrogen balloons littering the streets after the show followed a block up by the source where they were still selling them to the after party crowd. It was a sunday night but who am I to judge? I have a new obsession and it turns out his name is Toby.
http://youtu.be/XP-XFG00aiE
Last night I went to see Dr. Dog in concert at the Electric Factory. I like the band. I am not a "super fan", meaning I can not rehearse every lyric of every song, nor did I purchase an overpriced hipster beanie from the show. I can say I do enjoy their music. Dr. Dog has two singers. One being the poppy vocalist who is tall and dorky with a nasally sound and catchy sing-a-long tunes; the other mildly attractive who's voice is like sex. Gritty when it needs to be and smooth in just the right moments.
Because I do not claim to be a hardcore Dr. Dog know-it-all, I have never taken the time to watch live performances or even really look up what the band members actually look like. From judging the voices, I know one is sex and the other is nasal. Seeing them on stage is a whole other experience. The energy of the show in and of itself is one thing but watching Toby Leaman (oh my God his name is really Toby? mmmmmmm) bass player/second lead singer boy essentially make love on stage...mmmmm. He puts the "sex" in rock n' roll.
Right then and there I determined two things:
1. The men I'm attracted to are those who have a butt load of passion. It doesn't matter what it is for. Hell it could be as an amazing cross stitcher for all I care, as long as they put every emotion and every last breath into that passion. As long as they make everyone around them have absolutely no doubt that they love what they are doing.
2. Rock stars shouldn't be allowed to wear wedding rings. Strippers don't wear wedding rings right? Since most women would rather ogle at a lead singer gyrating their hips and pressing their open mouth on a microphone than watch a buff man strip down to a thong, I whole heartedly feel that it is the duty of a guy in a band not to wear a wedding band. It crushes the fantasy. If we can't have you after the show, let us at least have our fantasy. Yes, even if our boyfriend is inches away.
Just to throw the drugs in there for title sake...there were more plumes of pot smoke up in that venue than a Dave Matthews concert. There were also the remains of nitrogen balloons littering the streets after the show followed a block up by the source where they were still selling them to the after party crowd. It was a sunday night but who am I to judge? I have a new obsession and it turns out his name is Toby.
http://youtu.be/XP-XFG00aiE
Monday, February 27, 2012
BFFs
My dog is old and sick. Well, he's not technically my dog anymore but he was and ten years ago when I moved out, I couldn't take him with me so he became my parents dog, the neighbors dog, the neighborhood dog. Dakota is unique. He's a lover. He'll let you climb all over him and will kiss you like crazy. Everyone in the neighborhood loves him because unleashed, he will show up on your doorstep and hang out with your kids all day just to return home every night to the man who has been more than a father to me than my own. My stepdad, Bill.
But Dakota is thirteen now and not in great health. Having put our childhood dog down a few years back, we are suddenly preparing ourselves with the sad fact that Dakota may not last to see the end of the year or maybe even the month. I thought it would effect me more. I thought I would look at him and be devastated to witness my dog with one foot in the grave. I guess I stopped knowing him as well as I did. I guess I thought that since he lived a long, good life that I wouldn't feel as bad. What I do feel bad about is the way Dakota being sick is effecting the people who are around him everyday. The one's that call him their best friend.
Watching Bill with tears in his eyes is heartbreaking. This dog, his best friend, is consuming his every thought—his every move. He can't function properly and springs into action each time the dog lifts his head or moves incorrectly. After many tests we found that the dog has vertigo and that it should pass within a few days. Even if it does, the dog is old and it may just be prolonging the inevitable.
While sitting with Bill and watching the dog for hours lay in the middle of the yard, he said the most heartfelt statement I have heard in a while...
Bill: "All of my best friends are going to hell in a hand basket."
Me: "What do you mean? What else is going on?"
Bill: "Oh your mom and her back problems. I'm really worried about her. I ran a bath for her the other night and she's just stumbling around here always in pain."
How sweet is that? They have been married for...oh I don't know, maybe fifteen years and her and the dog are his best friends. He doesn't want any more. He doesn't need anymore. When they are hurting, he takes care of them and is empathetic to every ache and pain. To me, that defines what a best friend is. When they hurt, you hurt. It breaks your heart each and every step. That ability within human beings gives me hope. Instead of being upset that Dakota may be on his last leg, I feel a glow knowing that he is is, was, and will always be truly loved by someone. What more could anyone ask for?
But Dakota is thirteen now and not in great health. Having put our childhood dog down a few years back, we are suddenly preparing ourselves with the sad fact that Dakota may not last to see the end of the year or maybe even the month. I thought it would effect me more. I thought I would look at him and be devastated to witness my dog with one foot in the grave. I guess I stopped knowing him as well as I did. I guess I thought that since he lived a long, good life that I wouldn't feel as bad. What I do feel bad about is the way Dakota being sick is effecting the people who are around him everyday. The one's that call him their best friend.
Watching Bill with tears in his eyes is heartbreaking. This dog, his best friend, is consuming his every thought—his every move. He can't function properly and springs into action each time the dog lifts his head or moves incorrectly. After many tests we found that the dog has vertigo and that it should pass within a few days. Even if it does, the dog is old and it may just be prolonging the inevitable.
While sitting with Bill and watching the dog for hours lay in the middle of the yard, he said the most heartfelt statement I have heard in a while...
Bill: "All of my best friends are going to hell in a hand basket."
Me: "What do you mean? What else is going on?"
Bill: "Oh your mom and her back problems. I'm really worried about her. I ran a bath for her the other night and she's just stumbling around here always in pain."
How sweet is that? They have been married for...oh I don't know, maybe fifteen years and her and the dog are his best friends. He doesn't want any more. He doesn't need anymore. When they are hurting, he takes care of them and is empathetic to every ache and pain. To me, that defines what a best friend is. When they hurt, you hurt. It breaks your heart each and every step. That ability within human beings gives me hope. Instead of being upset that Dakota may be on his last leg, I feel a glow knowing that he is is, was, and will always be truly loved by someone. What more could anyone ask for?
Friday, January 6, 2012
Anger: How it Can Help You
I'm not going to lie, I woke up in a piss poor mood today. I cried for no reason. I felt unloved, unappreciated, and talentless. Today, I hated the world and everything was annoying and meaningless. These downswings are usually when I am most able to channel the hopeless feelings into writing. Lucky you.
But hear me out. When I feel this way, which thankfully is not very often, I make a valiant attempt to try to understand where these feelings are coming from and to turn that negative energy into something productive and good. Instead of wallowing in sorrow and anger by sleeping or not talking to anyone, I feel that it's important to refocus.
For example I asked myself these questions:
Why am I feeling this way?
My speculations:
1. I have worked very hard all week. Barely leaving my desk to eat, exercise, play with my dog, or do housework.
2. I am not entirely sure I trust the person I give my heart to.
3. I feel uncreative because I feel everyone is better than me.
4. My house is dirty and falling apart and people many think poorly of me for that.
Ok so there we have some things that may just be the reason. I know some of these things are just mere figments of my skewed imagination but for sake of fixing the problem, let's consider them. I believe that everyone has the power to change their way of thinking. They may not be able to change a situation but they can change the way they view it. So in order to "fix" this problem of needing a major attitude adjustment today, here is what I did.
1. I texted a friend and asked if we could get together later to get out of the house.
2. I talked to my roommate about how I felt and he related. (Visit the link for his humorous explanation.) http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html
3. I cleaned, cleaned, and cleaned some more.
To focus on #3 lets just say I went on a cleaning frenzy. Go ahead, splash grease all over the kitchen. Explode sauce all over the microwave. I'll just clean it up. Go ahead Jake (the dumbass cat), shit on the basement floor. I'll bleach the hell out of it. Oh look...another lightbulb burnt out! F you...I just bought replacements!
One of the wisest people in my life, the person I owe a lot of my major decisions in life to, just told me in a recent conversation that I need to get more angry and he needs to be more calm. We need to come to a medium ground on our moods and should both be somewhere in between zen and total fucking chaos. Given the state he was in when I spoke to him, I disagreed (though I didn't tell him that.) Why would I want to be more angry? Well I've come to the conclusion that he's right. Yet again. Anger drives us and forces us to get things done. It can stick with you and break you down if you let it or it can be just the kick in the ass you need to move forward with a vengeance.
Are you angry? Use it. Use it and do something good with it.
But hear me out. When I feel this way, which thankfully is not very often, I make a valiant attempt to try to understand where these feelings are coming from and to turn that negative energy into something productive and good. Instead of wallowing in sorrow and anger by sleeping or not talking to anyone, I feel that it's important to refocus.
For example I asked myself these questions:
Why am I feeling this way?
My speculations:
1. I have worked very hard all week. Barely leaving my desk to eat, exercise, play with my dog, or do housework.
2. I am not entirely sure I trust the person I give my heart to.
3. I feel uncreative because I feel everyone is better than me.
4. My house is dirty and falling apart and people many think poorly of me for that.
Ok so there we have some things that may just be the reason. I know some of these things are just mere figments of my skewed imagination but for sake of fixing the problem, let's consider them. I believe that everyone has the power to change their way of thinking. They may not be able to change a situation but they can change the way they view it. So in order to "fix" this problem of needing a major attitude adjustment today, here is what I did.
1. I texted a friend and asked if we could get together later to get out of the house.
2. I talked to my roommate about how I felt and he related. (Visit the link for his humorous explanation.) http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html
3. I cleaned, cleaned, and cleaned some more.
To focus on #3 lets just say I went on a cleaning frenzy. Go ahead, splash grease all over the kitchen. Explode sauce all over the microwave. I'll just clean it up. Go ahead Jake (the dumbass cat), shit on the basement floor. I'll bleach the hell out of it. Oh look...another lightbulb burnt out! F you...I just bought replacements!
One of the wisest people in my life, the person I owe a lot of my major decisions in life to, just told me in a recent conversation that I need to get more angry and he needs to be more calm. We need to come to a medium ground on our moods and should both be somewhere in between zen and total fucking chaos. Given the state he was in when I spoke to him, I disagreed (though I didn't tell him that.) Why would I want to be more angry? Well I've come to the conclusion that he's right. Yet again. Anger drives us and forces us to get things done. It can stick with you and break you down if you let it or it can be just the kick in the ass you need to move forward with a vengeance.
Are you angry? Use it. Use it and do something good with it.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Count Your Blessings
Another Christmas and another year passes. After having watched a number of old classic Christmas movies and at the same time watching my 3-year-old niece open so many presents that she didn't care to rip the paper off one more gift, my thoughts wandered back to the simple life. When people were thankful for real relationships with people and time spent with one another. When children were happy to receive a sled for Christmas and not a pile of toys which would soon be forgotten, or the new Xbox to occupy their time as not to annoy their hardworking families with actual attention and play.
We are all guilty of this new way of life. The idea of entitlement. Myself included. I caught myself being bitter and jealous while witnessing friends receive extravagant gifts from their bosses while mine was modest to say the least. When you look at decades past, you begin to realize that no one is owed anything and the only way to remain this way is to be grateful for what you have and the things you are given.
We must remember that the right to work is a gift. Having a roof over ones head is a gift. And so is the people who make up who you are. We don't need flat screened TVs or fancy phones or diamonds for value in life. We don't need expensive bags or Kindles to show our value in ones life. We need one another. To remain simple and happy for the smallest token of appreciation that someone shows. Money and spending more could never amount to the relationships we make.
To my friends and family, I love you all. You mean more to me than I could ever show. More than I could ever afford to buy. Anytime I become sad for not having or getting what I want, I promise to continue to bring my thinking back to this. For I am not owed or entitled to anything. I promise to try to remain modest and I hope the same for mankind. Perhaps this is my New Year's resolution.
Merry Christmas to ALL.
"What is it that you want Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down." - It's a Wonderful Life
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Giving Thanks
When I first laid down to take a nap this afternoon, my head hit the pillow and I thought about how I should write a blog entry when I woke up. The reason for the nap was because I was grouchy, depressed, and feeling sorry for myself. The reason for the blog would have been another woe is me rant about how everyone around me seems to be married with children or taking the steps to do so and here I am constantly wondering the status of my crazy love life. I'm glad I slept it off. When I woke up, the virtuous voice inside my head told me I need to be thankful for what I have, not envious of what I don't.
I like when that voice pops up — she's always right. I need to remind myself that dwelling on things that are out of my control is a waste of energy. Feeling sorry for myself is not attractive nor productive. The thing is to remain humble and thankful for all of the wonderful things and people in my life and proud of the many things I have accomplished. It is often hard to remind myself that may people would be envious of what I have. It's time to count my blessings.
Ironically this comes the week before Thanksgiving. My list of things to be thankful for:
1. The roof over my head. I may need to seal the windows in plastic to keep the heat in, or deodorize the cat smell in the basement, or unclog old pipes, but this house is a home. Not everyone can own a house and although it is far from the perfect dream house, it's all mine and mine alone.
2. My job. Yeah everyone complains about their job at some point. Sure I'd love to be making more money, but overall, I have a pretty damn good job. I have creative freedom and the ability to involve others who mean something to me. And come on, working from home is pretty amazing. I know people are jealous of that. I get to be with my dog all day, eat when I want to with whoever I want to, run errands at whatever time of the day, and most importantly, create when the mood hits me. For the most part I work on my schedule and that's a great feeling. I am certainly fortunate.
3. My dog. It's common knowledge that my dog is the love of my life. I am grateful that she is healthy and a loving companion. There are many nights I am certain I wouldn't have gotten through as easily without her to snuggle next to.
4. My friends. Sometimes they know me better than I know myself and their constant concern for my happiness and well-being shows me how much I am loved. We dance; we sing at the top of our lungs; we sometimes have too much to drink; we discover things together and appreciate beauty; we watch each other grow and learn and we are there for each other all the way. My friends are what keep me sane. I would be lost without them.
5. Jujitsu. I have always said jujitsu is the only thing that is constant in my life. I know it will always be there in one form or another. I have a hard time believing I have been at it for seven years. It has been an amazing journey and has taught me more life lessons in handling situations and living life than anything else.
6. My mother. Obviously I am thankful for my entire family for different reasons at different times, but having my mother to talk, depend on, and most importantly to be my friend, means the world. Some people no longer have their mother in their life and it saddens me. So I suppose I saved the most important for last. She is kind and giving and worries about her kids way too much. Her love for others is really something to be admired. I am fortunate to have her so close to me and such a big part of my life.
I like when that voice pops up — she's always right. I need to remind myself that dwelling on things that are out of my control is a waste of energy. Feeling sorry for myself is not attractive nor productive. The thing is to remain humble and thankful for all of the wonderful things and people in my life and proud of the many things I have accomplished. It is often hard to remind myself that may people would be envious of what I have. It's time to count my blessings.
Ironically this comes the week before Thanksgiving. My list of things to be thankful for:
1. The roof over my head. I may need to seal the windows in plastic to keep the heat in, or deodorize the cat smell in the basement, or unclog old pipes, but this house is a home. Not everyone can own a house and although it is far from the perfect dream house, it's all mine and mine alone.
2. My job. Yeah everyone complains about their job at some point. Sure I'd love to be making more money, but overall, I have a pretty damn good job. I have creative freedom and the ability to involve others who mean something to me. And come on, working from home is pretty amazing. I know people are jealous of that. I get to be with my dog all day, eat when I want to with whoever I want to, run errands at whatever time of the day, and most importantly, create when the mood hits me. For the most part I work on my schedule and that's a great feeling. I am certainly fortunate.
4. My friends. Sometimes they know me better than I know myself and their constant concern for my happiness and well-being shows me how much I am loved. We dance; we sing at the top of our lungs; we sometimes have too much to drink; we discover things together and appreciate beauty; we watch each other grow and learn and we are there for each other all the way. My friends are what keep me sane. I would be lost without them.
5. Jujitsu. I have always said jujitsu is the only thing that is constant in my life. I know it will always be there in one form or another. I have a hard time believing I have been at it for seven years. It has been an amazing journey and has taught me more life lessons in handling situations and living life than anything else.
6. My mother. Obviously I am thankful for my entire family for different reasons at different times, but having my mother to talk, depend on, and most importantly to be my friend, means the world. Some people no longer have their mother in their life and it saddens me. So I suppose I saved the most important for last. She is kind and giving and worries about her kids way too much. Her love for others is really something to be admired. I am fortunate to have her so close to me and such a big part of my life.
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