What's in a Name?

They say with great power comes great responsibility. I couldn't agree more. In my case things happened the opposite in my career. With the recent amount of responsibility, I wanted something to prove that the power was also there. I wanted a new name.

The best holiday, in my opinion, is quickly approaching. If you have ever met my family, you would know that Halloween is held in a very high regard. Everyone of them loves everything about it. In the past, Halloween was more highly celebrated than Christmas. Christmas. Even the word itself makes me anxious. It brings notions of forcing fake feelings. Of stress and giving because it is expected. Of driving around all day to be in the company of people you barely know. Halloween however, has always been more real in my family. It's a pure joy where everyone is there and involved because they want to be, not because it's what we're supposed to do. The great thing about Halloween is that you can be whoever you want. It's the one time of year where you can change who you are for the day and assume the persona of absolutely anything from inanimate objects to celebrities. The world is your oyster, at least for a day.

At this point in life and career, longing for a new name and persona seemed appropriate. I wanted something different. Something to prove that what I have been doing is not in vain. That it deserves attention. So I asked. I asked for a new title and I got it. Some how becoming the absolute highest title in my field has made me feel like a million bucks. I guess in this world of chaos, it's my new constant. The title sounds impressive, so I must be impressive. It gives me a new standard to live up to.

I need challenges in my life. This has become my challenge to live up to. As a designer, especially through college, the idea of ever holding the title of Creative Director put me in such a state of starry eyed admiration that I could barely fathom the day that I would ever get to tag on such a prestigious name. That day has come for me. All in all they are just words. But words bring power. Power brings responsibility. It is my duty to live up to what I asked for to my upmost ability. I have to. Not only for myself but for those striving for the same thing. For those starry eyed art students who want nothing more.

Strong

A good friend of mine and I just got back from a trip to Philadelphia where we attended an Intro to Aerials class at the Philadelphia School of Circus Arts. I had absolutely no idea what we were getting ourselves into. Turns out it takes a ton of upper body and core strength to pull yourself up on a trapeze, or rope, or 80 feet of fabric. It's tough. Your arms burn like hell. It would be easy to give up but the payoff is that you not only get to sit on that trapeze, you get to throw your one leg up and swing your body off the side or hang upside down. So I kicked as much ass as I could, channeled the warrior spirit within, and conquered everything I was taught there. Afterward, just like with jujitsu, I felt strong and extremely empowered.

Boosts of confidence are like drugs to me and come in all different forms. I get them through showing physical strength and skill, through winning at a game of darts, through creating art that people appreciate, through making myself desirable enough for the opposite sex  to notice. I know this all surface and comes from the acceptance of other people ultimately, but when these things happen, I am proud of myself too. I'm fucking strong as hell. That does make me proud and I don't need the next thing quite yet. I'm still floating above the ground.