31

I've been feeling a little lifeless the past couple days. I don't know if I'm still recovering from the 31st birthday celebration (which is a lot slower of a recovery than 21st) or if my brain is just going to explode. I go between being ok and calm to thinking too much and swinging into a depression. Work and responsibilities are heavy on the shoulders right now and I don't have time to deal with these helpless feelings. I wish I could just snap out of it and get my confidence back but it's so much easier said then done. I wish I could cry but I can't. Maybe I'm going crazy.

As far as my birthday celebration goes, it was really nice. I spent the day with my mother visiting her old stomping grounds and learning about her childhood then visiting my nana. When we got back into town we relaxed with pedicures. The evening was spent with friends and I couldn't help but want to see him. So I did. I'm still trying to decide if that was a good idea or not. Again with the thinking too much.

Well life chugs on whether I want it to or not. Hopefully things will get better and easier. I really just want someone to love who loves me back. Sigh...